Bleach: My Guiding Star
by Tsurumaki
Summary: After Ichigo leaves Soul Society, Hanataro becomes closer to Rukia. Hanataro X Rukia
1. Episode 01: My Guiding Star

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

**Author's Note: **This is a pairing I think should have been done a long time ago, but apparently, few people share that opinion. Anyway, enjoy and feel free to review.

'Before Rukia-san entered the Senzaikyu Shi-Shinro, she was held in sixth company's detention area. I was assigned cleaning duties there. At first, I was afraid of her… Because she was an aristocrat. But… the first time I called her 'Kuchiki-san', she corrected me. She told me to call her 'Rukia.' Her voice was kind. I was so relieved. From then on, I couldn't wait to clean her cell each day…' Hanataro Yamada tilted his face skyward and smiled into the afternoon sun. 'But that seems like… so long ago…'

"The weather is pleasant, today." Hanataro whirled around with a start to see Rukia Kuchiki standing a few feet behind him.

"R-Rukia-san!" he stuttered. "I didn't know you were-! I mean-! G-Good afternoon!" Rukia arched a curious eyebrow at the seventh seat adjutant.

"What do you have there?" she asked, motioning toward the stack of boxes he held against his chest.

"Oh! These are the new, standard-issue first-aid kits… Captain Unohana asked me to deliver one to each company barrack.

"But… You still have eleven left," she stated, pointedly.

"Yeah… I guess I kind of zone out," he replied with a nervous chuckled.

"Here." Rukia stepped forward and removed the top five boxes from his stack.

"R-Rukia-san?"

"I'm not doing anything particularly productive at the moment," she explained. "At least this way, you can get the job done in half the time." Hanataro's gaze trailed to the ground.

"T-Thank you," he blushed. With that, the two shinigami began making their way across the Seireitei. As they walked along in silence, Hanataro couldn't help but steal a few glances at the woman beside him. She was a radiant as ever, he thought. No matter the mood or circumstance, he had always known Rukia as a figure of unshakable composure. There was an air of dignity about her, and it breached into everything she did. How could anyone help but be drawn to her?

"You know," Rukia began, "You shouldn't daydream to much. If an officer had spotted you, there could have been trouble."

"I know," Hanataro sighed. "But, sometimes, I just can't help…"

"As the saying goes: Those who walk with their heads in the clouds are prone to swallowing birds."

"Um, I'm not sure that's exactly right," Hanataro replied through an uneasy smile.

"Well… Something of the like."

As promised, they finished delivering the packages in almost half the original time. This came as a shock to Hanataro, who had fully expected the task to last for the better part of the day.

"Thank you very much, Rukia-san," he said, bowing deeply. "I don't know how I could have done it without you."

"You're welcome, but I'm sure you would have managed with or without my help. All you have to do is stay focused. Anyway, I should probably return to my division. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Rukia-san!" With that, the raven-haired woman turned and headed back toward the thirteenth company barracks.

'Rukia-san…' Hanataro placed a hand over the strap of his medical bag gave it an idle tug. He too should be returning back to his respective base, he thought. He didn't mind, though. He had just experienced the best part of his day.

XXX

"Women?!" Renji snapped, nearly gagging. Once the initial shock had passed, he calmly placed his bowl of rice down and stared evenly over the table. "What do YOU need to know about WOMEN?"

"I-I don't know," Hanataro replied. "I'm kind of new at this so…"

"Well, at least tell me who we're talking about." Hanataro froze; he had been hoping to avoid that question altogether. Scratching idly at his blushing face, Hanataro glanced distractedly at the far side of the cafeteria.

"W-well… You see… That is-"

"Well? Are you gonna tell me or what?"

"Tell you what?" Ikkaku asked, plopping down beside Renji. The scabbard of his zanpaku-to clattered violently on the table, startling anyone within a few feet.

"Fourth company here wants to know how to talk to girls."

"Z'at so? Why's he asking you, then?"

"Hey! What's they supposed to mean?!"

"Look here, kid," Ikkaku continued, "When dealing with girls, the most important thing to do is be up-front. You gotta get aggressive."

"Aggressive?" he echoed.

"That's right. Come right out and say what's on your mind."

"What the hell kind of advice is that?!" Renji spat. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"Oh yeah?! What would you know about it, huh?! I don't see you picking up any tail!" The two men, having forgotten Hanataro's dilemma, plunged headlong into a full-scale clash. A cloud of curses and obscenities billowed up from the rattling table as they exchanged blow for blow on the cafeteria floor. Hanataro sighed. Well, that hadn't helped at all.

"Don't listen to them." Hanataro looked up to see Yumachika (who had more than likely accompanied Ikkaku to the mess hall) standing over him. His cool, black eyes stared disinterestedly at the brawling men before shifting back to the raven-haired shinigami. "Neither of them has a clue as to how to deal with the opposite sex. If you want to know so badly, you should try figuring it out for yourself. You're much more likely to get the desired results."

"Right," Hanataro nodded.

"But if you must be conventional, flowers are probably your safest bet." He paused. "Ugh… Fighting is so… ugly."

XXX

"As members of the relief squad, you serve as an indispensable support to the main task forces!" Yasochika Iemura, third seat adjutant of the fourth company paused to adjust his glasses. "It is your job to provide medical attention and supplies, on and off the battlefield! You will go anywhere, even into the fray, itself, to lend your hand!"

Hanataro had never liked these orientations. It wasn't that his superior wasn't a good speaker; he was actually quiet compelling; he just found it hard to concentrate. Being around so many people in close-quarters; it was just so easy to drift off into idle thought. Who notice, anyway?

"Hanataro Yamada! Please, come forward!"

'Me?' he thought. 'Why me? Did I do something wrong?' Reluctantly, Hanataro left his seat in the audience and quietly made his way to the front of the room. 'Am I going to get scolded in front of all these people?' He sighed, inwardly. 'I hope they don't double my cleaning duties…' At long last, Hanataro reached the front and took his place beside his superior.

"This," Yasochika announced, "is seventh seat: Hanataro Yamada, leader of the fourteenth advanced relief team! Know his face well! Many of you will be working directly under him, because as of now, Mr. Yamada has been promoted to fifth seat!" Before the words had a chance to sink in, Hanataro was swallowed up in a roar of applause.

"W-what…?" he stammered. The pounding of his heart made it nearly impossible to think, clearly. Had he heard correctly? "F-fifth se-?"

"That's right," Yasochika nodded, stoically. "You're performance has improved significantly of late. You've earned it!"

"T-thank you!" Hanataro exclaimed with bow. "Thank you very much!" The sea of rookie shinigami rose to their feet and cheered excitedly. A group of girls in the front row took turns blowing kisses at him, while the men behind them whooped, insatiably. "Thank you all!"

"Wake up."

"Wha-?!" Hanataro nearly toppled over in surprise. "Oh, Rukia-san!"

"You're spacing out again," she said, eyeing him, sternly.

"I know, I know…"

"What are you doing here? You do realize that this is thirteenth company's base, don't you? Do you have some business with the captain?" Hanataro's sweaty hands trembled softly behind his back.

"Actually," he began, nervously, "I came to see… you…"

"Me?"

"THESE ARE FOR YOU, RUKIA-SAN!" he blurted, shoving a fist full of lilies at her. Rukia stared at the bouquet for a moment, then back at Hanataro. He stood with face cast to the ground, staring at the spot between his feet. Upon closer inspection, Rukia noticed the unusually sleek sheen in his coal-colored hair. Was his hair… wet? It was. In fact, his entire person was damp, from head to foot. It suddenly dawned on her that the lilies he was holding were not store-bought, but hand-picket. Images of the ham-fisted shinigami tumbling repeated into Rukongai's river brought a smile Rukia's face. She wondered how long it must have taken him.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the bouquet. "You are very… thoughtful." Compliments and gratitude had never been her forte. Hanataro lifted his head and let out a sigh of relief.

'She liked them? She liked them! It really worked! Yumachika-san was right!' The scraped and bruises he had attained falling against the river's concrete borders felt like nothing, now, not when she smiled like that. The way her lips curved beneath those two, sparkling blue eyes... It was a smile that could ease even the heaviest of hearts.

"You should change out of those clothes," she remarked, abruptly. "You'll catch a cold."

"Heh heh… I guess I am a little damp," he chuckled.

"Then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Oh, okay!" With one last smile and a slight nod of her head, Rukia took her leave, disappearing back into the barracks. Hanataro slumped back against a nearby wall and let out a long, soothing, sighed, blissfully. The evening sky was setting in, bringing with it the early-night's wind chill. The scrawny shinigami shiver shook violently beneath the soggy garments that clung heavily about him. If he didn't hurry, he would almost surely wake up sick the next morning. But, Hanataro didn't care. The surrounding world was lost to him. He was in a world, all his own.


	2. Episode 02: How Bizarre

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

"Hey, fourth company!" Hanataro craned his neck around to see Renji approaching from behind. The sixth company lieutenant seemed uncharacteristically chipper, today, he thought.

"Good morning, Renji-san."

"Early delivery?" Renji slapped the Hanataro heartily on the shoulder, nearly toppling the boxes of supplies he clutched against his torso.

"Something like that…"

"Yeah, yeah. So, anyway, how did things go with you and that girl, the other day?" Hanataro paused, slightly taken aback. To think that Renji had actually remembered…

"Oh, fine, I guess," he nodded.

"Oh, so you did what I suggested, huh?" Renji grinned proudly, obviously pleased with himself.

"S-sort of…" Renji's smiled faded to his usual scowl.

"Sort of?" he grunted, cocking an inquisitive eyebrow up at him. "What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"Well… I got her… flowers." Hanataro's voice trailed off as he mouthed the last word. It had been two days and he still had yet to come to grips with the situation. A light blush crept over his pasty cheeks.

"Flowers? I never said anything about flowers!" Renji paused. "And it worked?"

"I think so…"

"Oh. Well, okay then. So, when do I get to meet this mystery girlfriend?" he sneered, snaking one muscular arm over the boy's shoulder. Beads of sweat began to form at Hanataro's temples, indicative of his rising body temperature. It was hard enough to cart the parcels from one end of the Serietei to the other, but Renji's added weight doubled the effort, not to mention the fact that the red-haired adjutant was standing unnervingly close.

"S-she's not my girlfriend," he stammered.

"Oh, I get it," he nodded. "Taking it slow… Well, whatever." A coarse slap on the back pitched the medic forward, spilling the stack of boxes onto the concrete sidewalk. "Uh… my bad." Hanataro waited until the lieutenant had passed safely out of sight and before kneeling down to retrieve his packages.

'What was that all about?' Hanataro wondered.

By the third year of his inception, Hanataro had come to the realization that Fridays were always the worst days to be a member of the fourth company. While the other companies slacked off in anticipation of the weekend, his squad was forced to pick up the leftover jobs in addition to having to double-time through most of their own. If there was one thing he had gained since joining the Gotei 13, it was tolerance. Between being bullied by the members of the eleventh company and suffering the grueling workloads, one really had no choice but to learn how to deal with discomfort. Hunger was a different story.

'Oh, I did it again,' Hanataro whined, inwardly. His stomach snarled savagely up at him, eliciting a bitter grimace from the medic's pale face. 'How do I keep forgetting my lunch…?' It was just his luck that the mess hall would close an hour before his scheduled lunch break. By the time it reopened with the evening menu, it would already be time to go back to work.

"Thank you for your help, Captain."

"Anytime, Kuchiki." Hanataro's ears perked up at the sound of the name. "You're by far one of the best kidou users in the squad. I'm all too happy to offer whatever aid I can." Rukia offered Ukitake a parting bow and quickly made her way across the street.

"R-Rukia-san!" Hanataro called, rushing over to her.

"Oh, hello, Hanataro." She paused to examine him, briefly. "You look terrible." Hanataro nearly collapsed under the weight of the remark. Despite her gentle, dignified manner, Rukia had the strangest penchant for brutal honesty. "Have you eaten at all, today?"

"Actually…" Rukia's face hardened with scrutiny. She already knew what he was going to say, and was decidedly displeased. "Well, you see," he sputtered, nervously. "I forgot my lunch and-!"

"Absentmindedness is no excuse," she stated firmly. "Do you know what the 'rickets' are?"

"N-no," he replied, cautiously.

"Well, neither do I, but they sound unpleasant!" The momentary frustration in her face faded, giving way to the fiery resolve he had seen so many times before. "I suppose it can't be helped," she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, come home with me, then."

"H-home with you…?!" Hanataro blushed furiously.

"Yes. You can eat there. I've never been one to refuse a friend."

'She considers me… her friend?!' Hanataro couldn't help but grin. That was the first time anyone had literally referred to him as a "friend." It felt even better than he'd hoped.

"Come on, then."

"R-right…! Thank you, Rukia-san."

XXX

All the rumors had been true, Hanataro realized as he stared up at the building in front of him; Rukia Kuchiki did in fact live in a mansion. The sheer size of the estate was astonishing. There were trees, there were fountains, there were porch swings, ponds… It was simply amazing. To think that such a place existed INSIDE the Serietei.

"Are you coming in?" Rukia asked, glancing back at him through the open door.

"Oh! R-right! Sorry!" Hanataro stumbled over the stainless cobblestone walkway and tripped his way up the porch steps to the front door. He had rarely been invited to anyone's house, let alone a noble's. How should he act? What should he say? Was it okay to touch the door? His mind frothed over in a billowing cloud of insecurity. 'I should have never come here,' he thought with dread. 'I'm out of place! I don't belong!' Carefully, he eased back the sliding shoji paper door and stepped quietly inside.

The only thing more impressive than the mansion's outer appearance was the seemingly boundless space on the inside. The walls were a gentle off-white, devoid of ornamentation. The gleaming hardwood floor lay naked under the plain white ceiling above. No rugs, no knick-knacks, no decorative lamps… There weren't even any pictures. Somehow, he'd imagined the inside of a noble household to be slightly more extravagant. A tall, silver-haired man with glasses greeted the pair in the mansion lobby. He seemed friendly enough, despite the sunken look in his eyes.

"You're home early, milady," the man remarked, bowing.

"Oh, I'm just here for lunch; I won't be staying. Is Nii-sama here?" Hanataro felt his whole body buckle. Nii-sama? Did she mean Captain Kuchiki?

"No, I'm afraid he has left for the day."

"I see," Rukia nodded, pensively. Hanataro released an inaudible sigh of relief. His life was safe, this day.

"What would you like for lunch, milady? I could prepare a-"

"We'll manage on our own," Rukia stated in a matter-of-fact tone. The servant paused as if to protest, but quickly extinguished the thought and dismissed himself with a smile.

"As you wish."

Rukia lead Hanataro off to the kitchen where he watched her work. She was much more proficient in the kitchen than he had originally assumed. She seemed to know where most of the utensils were, and every time she lost her place, she would stop to nibble idly at her bottom lip. It seemed like such an ordinary gesture, but under her execution, it became an art. He admired the way her hair fell in the way of her eyes when she would dig through the lower cabinets for missing pans. He loved the way she pivoted in place when she lost track of her footstool. So ordinary, yet so extraordinary.

"And done," she stated with a proud grin. Her exuberant boast rousted Hanataro from his thoughts and dumped him haphazardly back into reality. It took a moment for him to realize exactly what she said.

"E-excuse me?"

"Plates," she repeated, motion toward the line of low-hanging cupboards on the adjacent wall. Hanataro made his way to the other side of the kitchen and carefully opened the first cupboard door.

"Um, are these okay?" he asked, producing a small pink dish with a rabbit painted at the center.

"Yes," she said, blushing. "Those will do." Rukia served the meal on three plates, covering the last dish with a napkin marked "Nii-sama." For a while they ate in silence until at last, Hanataro's chopsticks clicked to a halt at the bottom of his dish.

"Rukia-san?" he began, slowly.

"Yes?"

"Not to sound rude, but what is this?"

"Okame soba, why, you don't like it?"

"No, no, it's very good, actually! It's just that..."

"What?"

"Well," he chuckled with a nervous smile. "I'm allergic to molded fish paste."

XXX

"I'm so sorry, Rukia-san," Hanataro murmured from the infirmary bed. "I guess I should have told you, beforehand. He wrinkled his nose, trying had to resist the urge to scratch at his face. His body had never been good with most seafood, generally resulting in a full-body rash that lasted anywhere between one day and one week.

Hanataro glanced longingly over at Rukia. She hadn't moved or spoken since the nurses left. She simply sat in the bedside chair, staring pensively out the hospital window. 'Is she mad at me?' he wondered. 'She probably is... I wouldn't blame her. That was lame, even for me..."

"Can you forgive me?" she murmured, at last.

"F-forgive you...? But, Rukia-san-!" Her placid face silence him the moment their eyes met. He knew that look. It was the same expression she had worn the day he met her; that soft, sullen gleam in her stare. He could almost trace the tears welling up in her eyes. It was enough to break his heart. "Rukia-san." She averted her gaze once more.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into the sleeve of her shihakusho. "I must look silly..."

"Please, don't do that..." Hanataro reached out to touch her shoulder, but immediately drew back. "I... I can't bear to see you like this." Rukia froze in her seat, but kept her eyes fixed on the window. "I-I've never been a strong person or anything... I give up easily and I'm not very useful... After a while, I kind of got used to the idea of being worthless and cowardly. It was just easier... But then, I met you. Unlike me, you're brave... Strong... And when I'm around you, I guess I feel a little braver, and a little stronger. I know it sounds selfish, but, if you stop being strong now, I don't know what I'll do..." Whether or not that was the right thing to say, he couldn't be sure, but he had to say something.

"You're hopeless," she murmured, meeting his gaze with a tearful smile. "Completely hopeless..."

**Author's Notes:** The line "Well, come home with me, then," is a reference to the fact that Rukia often says things that could be viewed as "sexually suggestive" (example: "What's on your mind, big boy?"). And for those who didn't understand the end, that is a definite allusion to the whole "twisted fate" thing. I've found Rukia to be a pretty complicated woman, and one of her biggest hang-ups is the idea that she causes the people around her pain and discomfort (example: making Ichigo a shinigami, shaming her brother, etc).


	3. Episode 03: The Queen and I

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

Rukia stepped quietly over the polished floor of the thirteenth company hall, sweeping along behind her. The dry broom bristles hissed against the hardwood, single-handedly staving off the silence. She could shake the image from her head; they way he'd looked at her with those pleading eyes.

_"…If you stop being strong now, I don't know what I'll do..."_

Rukia chewed her lip, pensively. He had sounded so sincere, so heartfelt. Simply recalling the entreating tone of his voice enveloped her heart in an alien warmth. Suddenly, a rough kick to the back hurled Rukia from her thoughts and onto the floor in a heap.

"Missed a spot," Renji sneered.

"Wha-?! What was that for?!" Rukia snapped, rubbing the small of her back.

"You were spacing out, again... Someone's gotta keep you grounded." Rukia picked herself up off the floor and brushed the dirt from her shihakusho.

"What are you doing here, anyway?! Don't they have even work for assistant captains?"

"I'm taking a break," Renji shrugged. "We can do that, you know! Actually, I came to see if you wanted to get some lunch."

"Sorry," Rukia stated, "I already have plans." Renji's grin quickly melted to scowl of confusion.

"Since when do you have plans?! And with who?"

"What's wrong?" Rukia asked, leering over her shoulder. "I didn't know you cared so much, Mr. Goofy Tattooed Eyebrows Man..."

"I DON'T care!" he snapped. How did she manage to annoy him so easily? "No skin off my nose! Go have your plans or whatever!"

"I will," she chuckled, derisively. She could practically hear his teeth gnashing under the strain of his grinding jaws. It was so easy to get to him.

"I'm outta here!" he barked, and with that, Renji stormed out of the station and slammed the doors behind him.

XXX

"R-Rukia-san! You're here!" Hanataro's eyes flashed wide with elation. He had been waiting at the mess hall entrance for almost an hour (though, in truth, he had shown up over an hour early).

"Of course I am," she replied, matter-of-factly. "You invited me, so why shouldn't I be here?" A faint blush washed over his cheeks. She had a point.

"W-well... That is..." Before his mouth could form a sentence, Rukia reached out and took hold of his wrist. The warmth of her tender hand deepened his blush.

"Let's go."

Once in the serving line, it took Rukia nearly ten minutes to get her food. At first, she simply stood there, staring up at the daily menu with her chin cupped in her hand. Hanataro glanced nervously from side to side; the entire length of the line had their eyes on them. He could feel the cool sweat forming over his skin. Bloodlust was everywhere. When she'd finally decided on platter combination, the pair took their seats on the far end an empty table.

"You didn't get very much, Rukia-san," Hanataro stated, eying her tray.

"I don't care for cafeteria food," she explained, "that's why I normally eat my meals at home." Hanataro's mind momentarily flashed back to the meal they had shared in her kitchen, complete with a hospital visit and the bottle of tablets he was ordered to carry in his bag.

"But you came anyway... W-why?"

"Because you asked me to." Hanataro blushed. It seemed like such a simple, mundane answer, but coming from her, somehow, it held a different meaning. "Now... What is this?" Hanataro's jaw dropped to table with a thud. She'd spent all that time deciding on what to eat and didn't even know what she was ordering?

"Well, that's yakitori," he said, pointing to the skewered meats, "and that's... well... I'm not sure..." Rukia picked up one of the skewers and eyed it curiously.

"Oh, I remember, now!" she exclaimed. "It's a ka-bob!" Hanataro ruffled his face in confusion.

"Kabob?"

"A 'sheesh'-ka-bob," she nodded. "It's an earthly snack served at festivals and ceremonies; one of the many things Ichigo taught me while I was away. Yes, this 'sheesh'-ka-bob." Though the confidence in her voice was that of an expert, her broken pronunciation of the word lead Hanataro to believe that she wasn't quite sure herself; he was spellbound, just the same.

"Ichigo-san taught you a lot..." There was a tone of wonder in his voice.

"Yes," she smiled. "He did." Hanataro spotted a nostalgic gleam in her eyes; Ichigo must have meant a lot to her. Each time she mentioned him, her eyes glazed over with a peculiar tranquility. He often wondered what actually happened between them while Rukia was away.

"Well, will ya look at that," Ikkaku grunted, leaning back in his seat. He had been watching the two shinigami from a distance since the hold-up in the lunch line. "Kuchiki's sitting with that scrawny kid from fourth company... Uh, What-s-his-name…?"

"Who cares?" Yumachika shrugged before taking a sip of his tea.

"Since when were they so chummy? I didn't even know Kuchiki HAD friends, especially outside her company... Maybe something's going on between them..." Yumachika glanced up from his tea to examine the gaunt shinigami sitting across from Rukia.

"Hmmm... I don't see how; he's not very attractive at all."

"I wonder if Renji knows..."

"Now that IS an attractive prospect." A few minutes later, the two seated officers left the mess hall and returned to their squad buildings.

XXX

"I-I'm sorry you didn't find anything you liked, Rukia-san," Hanataro murmured, nervously rubbing at the back of his head. He had taken the liberty of walking her back to her company barracks after their post-lunch stroll through the Serietei.

"I told you before: I didn't go for the food."

"R-right...! Sorry!" Hanataro bowed, apologetically, eliciting a quiet frown from the raven-haired woman.

"Hmm... Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"G-goodbye, Rukia-san!" Rukia stepped into the squad building and closed the door behind her. Hanataro lifted his head and gaze warily up at the squad insignia painted on the entrance. 'Was it... something I said?'

XXX

Ikkaku lifted his weathered waterskin up above him and emptied its contents on his bare head and shoulders. The cool liquid did little to sate his condition. He and Renji had been sparring relentlessly for the last few hours. It had become somewhat of a bonding point for them. For Renji, it was the chance to blow off some steam; for Ikkaku, it was the opportunity to train with his bankai in secrecy. It was the perfect arrangement.

"I still don't get it," Renji huffed. "You're plenty strong, not to mention one of the only officers below vice-captain class who can release a bankai... Why don't you apply to be a captain?"

"Why don't you?" Ikkaku snorted.

"Maybe I will!"

"Look, I told you before: I don't want to be a captain. My life's ambition is to serve, and die, under Captain Zaraki's command."

"Pft…! Whatever. The higher-ups are gonna find out, sooner or later... They're gonna be promoting officers like crazy to make up for all the empty spots. Guess it can't be helped... I'll bet even thirteenth company gets a new adjutant."

"That reminds me: I saw Kuchiki, today."

"So?" Renji shrugged.

"Didn't you have your eye on her for a while?"

"Me and Rukia?!" Renji broke out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, slapping his knee repeated as he struggled to breathe. "R-Rukia Kuchiki? Give me a break!"

"Z'at so? Cause I saw her at the chow hall with that guy from fourth company." Renji's smile deflated, immediately.

"...Huh...?"

"That's right. They were all buddy-buddy sitting a table by themselves. You know, I never figure Kuchiki to be the type. To be honest, I wasn't sure if she liked guys at all... Well, whatever." Ikkaku turned to catch the bewildered expression on his companion's face. "Guess you didn't know after all..."

XXX

'I hope she's not mad at me,' Hanataro thought to himself. 'She seemed upset... But, maybe I'm overreacting?' All this worrying was beginning to affect progress, he realized. He had been ordered to rearrange to medical stockroom, but at this rate, he probably wouldn't finish until late that evening. "I suppose I should just... wait."

"Wait for what?" Hanataro's head whirled around with a start to see Renji leaning against the stockroom doorway.

"O-oh, R-Renji-san! I didn't know you were here...!" Renji didn't reply. He didn't move. Something was wrong, Hanataro realized. Something was very wrong. "R-Renji-san...? Renji-san, are you-?"

"Shut up," Renji snarled, "just shut up." He took a step forward, closing have the distance between them in a single stride. The room suddenly felt humid; stuffy. Hanataro's hands fumbled feverishly at his sides. Fear. Confusion. Discomfort. Shame. All these emotions swirled around him in a great whirlpool. What was happening? What did Renji intend to do?

"I'm only gonna say this once," Renji seethed, "so listen and listen good." The shadow of his muscular form swallowed the trembling shinigami whole. "Stay away from Rukia."

Hanataro's entire body froze. All senses left his body, leaving him little more than a hollow, rattling shell. What had he just said? The words wouldn't stick; his mind wouldn't accept them. It couldn't accept them. It was far too painful.

"R-Renji-san..."

"If you don't... I'LL KILL YOU." The young medic's mouth widened as if to protest, but the words never came. Renji had spoken, and his words were as clear as they were final. The crash of shattered glass filled his head. His paradise, his world, had just come to an end.


	4. Epsiode 04: Stray Dog's Eulogy

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

Rukia tilted her head back against her pillow and gazed thoughtfully up at the vase on her nightstand. The flowers Hanataro had given her had long since begun to wilt, but for reasons she herself could explain, she couldn't bring herself to discard them. Perhaps it was the fact that it was first time anyone had given her flowers. Or, maybe it was the nostalgia they brought, reminding her of her days in Rukongai. No, neither of those seemed accurate. Her forehead wrinkled in frustration. It was, quite simply, confounding.

Hanataro Yamada… He was a nice person. As cynical as she tended to be, Rukia's intuition told her that his kindness was genuine; she had always prided herself on her excellent judge of character. There was something about him the intrigued her, but the reason escaped her. He wasn't strong by any means, lacked all conventional standards of charm, wasn't particularly attractive, he was clumsy and had very little confidence in himself; so why was he so… magnetic? Did she feel indebted to him for attempting to rescue her? No, that wasn't it. While he had risked his rank and well-being for her, somehow this feeling differed from the sense of duty she had felt before.

Rukia clasped her hands behind her head and stretched out over her futon. Hanataro Yamada… All circumstances aside, she actually enjoyed the time she'd spent with him while imprisoned in sixth company's jail cell. He made her feel… comfortable. Yes, that was accurate. She felt comfortable around him. In him, she could confide, though in truth, she never thought she'd live to care whether or not he kept her words secret.

Rukia bolted upright in bed. 'That's it,' she realized. Suddenly, it was all so clear to her. She finally understood the reasoning behind her attachment; it was loyalty. Above all, Hanataro remained loyal. While he didn't have the strength to fight, his fidelity drove him to do whatever he could to make a difference. Never once had he betrayed her. Never once had he turned his back on her. Never once had he refused her. He was faithful, not only to her, but to himself. It was the same quality she had come to love Captain Ukitake and Ichigo… And Kaien-dono… Perhaps he was… Rukia placed a hand over her heart and smiled.

"Yes, Kaien-dono," she murmured, "I… finally understand."

XXX

_"I'LL KILL YOU."_ The words echoed again and again in his head. He couldn't shake the sound of Renji's voice; that seething hatred in his eyes. Hanataro let out a long, heavy sigh. What was he going to do now? He had done his best to avoid contact with Rukia, but it wouldn't be long until she picked up on his change in behavior. How could he possibly face her? What could he tell her?

Why was he so worked up, anyway? Hadn't Renji and Rukia just been friends? Hanataro was aware of the fact that they had grown up together in Rukongai, but why should it matter to him what Rukia did? Hadn't Renji, along with his captain, been the two shinigami dispatched to retrieve Rukia in the first place? And hadn't Renji also been one of the many guards Ichigo had to face in order to save Rukia? He couldn't possibly care for her well-being that much if he was willing to stand by and watch her be executed.

'But, I guess that still doesn't change anything,' he submitted. 'What would you do… Ichigo-san…?'

XXX

"I see," Commander Yamamoto stated, placing the pamphlet down his desk. Captain Hitsugaya and his adjutant, Matsumoto, stood at attention before him. "So, you believe that this proposal will prove effective?"

"Yes sir," Hitsugaya replied. "Based on the given circumstances, I feel that in executing this plan, we will be able to successfully circumvent the efforts of menos as they pass into the living world."

"I will give serious consideration," the commander assured him.

"Thank you, sir."

"If this were to be approved, who would you nominate for this occupation? Of course, you would head the mission."

"Assistant-captain Matsumoto, assistant Captain Abarai of the sixth company, third and fifth-seat adjutants Madarame and Yumachika of the eleventh company, and Rukia Kuchiki of the thirteenth company."

"Kuchiki? Do you mean to entrust such an important mission to a shinigami below the rank of seated officer?"

"Due to her history with Ichigo Kurosaki, I believe that Rukia Kuchiki's presence is indispensable if we are to earn the substitute soul reaper's cooperation."

"I see. As I said before, I will consider it. You are dismissed."

"Yes sir."

XXX

"You know," Renji began, "if you're gonna make faces like that, I'm not gonna buy you lunch anymore."

"How rude!" Rukia shot back. "And, I'm not making faces; this is the way I always look!" Renji peered down at her over his cup of tea, studying the wrinkles that lined her forehead as she frowned. She had been frowning all day. In fact, she had been acting strangely for most of the week. She had always been less than agreeable, even as a child, but lately, she had become even more irritable and sulky than usual.

"What's wrong? Don't like the food?"

"It's fine." Rukia stared pensively down at her meal, prodding it occasionally with her chopsticks. Renji sighed and leaned back in his seat. This was the second time he had invited her to do something, yet her attention seemed sorely displaced. She had barely looked at him for the entire meal. He hated seeing her like this; her sulking always put him in a bad mood.

"Would you smile, already?! You've been acting really weird, lately and it's starting to piss me off!" Rukia placed her chopsticks carefully over her bowl and lowered her head.

"Do you really… want to know?" she whispered.

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Well, I admit, something has been troubling me…"

"Tell me, dammit!"

"It's…" Rukia lifted her gaze to meet his.

"Yeah…?"

"It's… your eyebrows," she finished. "They sadden me."

Renji's eyes narrowed over his grinding teeth. Beneath the tabletop, his fist clenched furiously, poised to strike.

"W-What did you s-say?!" he snarled.

"You really should have them looked at, you know."

"You little-!!"

"Rukia-san!" Renji and Rukia looked up to see Hanataro bounding toward them.

"H-Hanataro…?!" Though her hands clutched at the lap of her shihakusho beneath the table, Rukia's eyes couldn't conceal her excitement. "What are you doing here?!"

"Rukia-san…!" he wheezed. "I…!" Hanataro jogged to a stop beside the pavilion, panting and sweating profusely. He looked terrible, even for Hanataro; his pale skin was two shades whiter and his frame shook and rattled with effort. Even-so, his eyes remained crystal clear and focused. Renji gripped the sides of the table, hoisting himself to his feet.

"What ARE you doing here?" the assistant-captain growled. Hanataro flinched under the bigger man's tone, but continued to stand his ground.

"I-I need to talk to Rukia-san…!"

"Well, as you can see, she's busy, right now."

"Renji!" Rukia snapped.

"Stay outta this, Rukia!" Renji turned back to the trembling fourth company member. "We've been over this once before, boy…! Leave, NOW."

"I…" Hanataro's gaze weakened for a moment. "I-I refuse."

"Refuse?" Renji cocked a tattooed eyebrow and scowled. "Refuse… me?" Before Hanataro could even blink, the red-haired shinigami leapt over the table and snatched him up by the collar of his uniform. The world suddenly smeared over itself in a blur. Through the hazy of shock and befuddlement, Hanataro barely realized that his body was in motion. The ground rushed beneath him like a river of white marble tile. A cool harsh air ripped over him as he sped into oblivion. Where was he going?

XXX

THUD!

When Hanataro opened his eyes, he found himself staring up at the blue, mid-day sky. The melodic chirping of birds swept over him on a gentle gale. He could feel the cool blades of fresh green grass as they tickled his hands and the back of his neck. It was… pleasant.

"On your feet, fourth company!" Renji barked. The sound of his voice made it hard for Hanataro to refrain from relieving himself in his uniform. Those sharp, fiery eyes… That scowl of seething hatred… Never before had the young shinigami been the target of so much animosity. He could practically feel Renji's murderous intent.

"R-Renji-san…?"

"Shut up!! I said ON YOUR FEET!" Slowly, Hanataro climbed from the moist ground and glanced abut him. After a moment's observation, he came to a conclusion; they were no longer in the Serieitei. The vast, grassy meadows that surrounded them assured Hanataro that they were, indeed, alone. There were no houses. There were no sheds. There wasn't a soul in sight. "I warned you…"

"R-Renji-san, I-!"

"But, you just couldn't listen, could you?! You'll regret that, boy…!" Renji's hand moved up from his side to grasp the hilt of his zanpaku-to. The cruel-looking blade gleamed brilliantly in the sunlight. "You've met Zabimaru, right, boy?"

'Z-Zabi-maru…?!" The flawless steel rested motionlessly at eye-level. Thick waves of spiritual pressure poured out of it, splashing out in torrents. It was overwhelming.

"I don't normally do this, especially against trash like you, but you've managed to really piss me off…!"

"Wha-?!"

"HOWL, ZABIMARU…"

"N-no…!!"

"BAN-KAI!!!" A blazing red light engulfed the very air around them like a massive flame. It was more than blinding; it practically seared out the pupils in the young medic's eyes. When the last flare of radiance faded into daylight, the full form of Zabimaru came into view. Yard after yard of chalk-colored bone coiled around them. The vertebrae rattled and groaned as the structure shifted along. Hanataro's gaze trailed the monster's immeasurable length; from the rear conjoined at sword's hilt, to the enormous snake skull framed in the center of a billowing red mane. It was truly the most awesome sight he had ever laid eyes on. "Baboon King: Zabimaru…"

Hanataro's frame shrieked under the crushing force of Renji's relentless aura. It seemed endless. His garbs clung heavily to his skin, matted to his body with his own perspiration. It felt as though the world was crashing down around him. His chest heaved with effort. The overwhelming pressure made it hard to stand and impossible to move, though his body screamed for an escape. Run! Run and hide! Every fiber of his being urged him to retreat, but his will remained steadfast. He wouldn't budge; not one inch.

"Well?" Renji snorted. "Aren't you scared?"

"T-terrified," Hanataro stammered.

"And still, you insist on playing the hero… Why?"

Hanataro swallowed hard. The blazing reiatsu made it hard to breath and impossible to move.

"A-all my life I've been a coward. When things got tough, it always seemed easier just to run the other way. I probably could have been content living that way forever… But, something changed… I realized that there are things in life you have to face if you ever want to move forward. It's then that the need to move outweighs the apprehension, allowing you to push past and do what needs to be done… In the end, that's what being brave is all about?"

"Tch!" Renji scoffed. "What do you know about bravery, boy?! I'm gonna be the one to protect Rukia!" The young medic's posture went rigid.

"Protect… Rukia-san?" Hanataro's eyes narrowed in a bitter glare. "Don't make me laugh."

Renji faltered, taken aback by the boy's darker tone. Was he actually… angry?

"Where were you?" Hanataro continued. "Where you when Rukia-san was wrongfully imprisoned in the sixth company brig?! Where were you when they transferred her to the Shrine of Pentanence?!" As he spoke, Hanataro's fists shook violently at his sides. He could feel the salty sting of the tears welling up in each eye. He couldn't explain it. He had never felt this outraged, never in his entire life.

"Where were you… when Captain Kuchiki meant to cut down Rukia-san with his own hands?! Where were you…" Hanataro's shaking gradually spread to every corner of his body. He felt weak… drained, but it was different now. Somehow, it felt right. "You're… You're a coward… Renji-san…!" Renji flinched as though he'd been slapped across the face. Hanataro was absolutely right.

He had been the one that traveled to the living world to arrest Rukia. He had been the one who lacked the courage to appeal her case. He had been the one who blocked Ichigo's path to the tower. He had failed her. He had failed himself; not only as a soul reaper, but as a man.

Suddenly, Zabimaru recoiled, and in a flash of red light, the sword reverted to its sealed state. Renji sheathed his zanpaku-to and turned away. He had lost the will to fight. The sound of Hanataro's sobs was barely audible rattling of his scabbard. He was trembling from head to toe. Pathetic. Simply pathetic. He wouldn't look back; he couldn't. There was nothing he could do. With heavy heart and sickening feeling in his stomach, Renji picked up the remains of his shattered ego and vanished.

XXX

Hanataro sat hunched forward on a rock, hands clasped together between his knees. It took a little while, but he had finally managed to calm down and stop crying. Why had he been so upset in the first place?

'I can't believe I acted that way,' he thought. 'I said such awful things to Renji-san… I feel terrible…' And yet, despite his guilt, Hanataro felt somewhat relieved. It was as if a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. 'I feel… clean.'

"There you are!" Hanataro looked up with a start.

"O-oh, Rukia-san! I-I didn't know you were-!"

"Where is Renji?"

"He... He left." Rukia paused to study the brooding expression that plagues his features. "Rukia-san…?"

"Yes?"

"We're friends, aren't we…?"

"I-I suppose," replied, blushing lightly.

"Good," he smiled. "I'm glad." Climbing to his feet, Hanataro took a step toward Rukia and stared levelly into her. Inside his soft, blue eyes burned a resolve brighter than any he'd shown before.

"Hana-taro…?"

"I know I'm not strong, or smart, or brave," he murmured. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to be of use to anyone, but I swear I'll never leave you alone. You have my word, Rukia-san." Rukia stared blankly into his face. Had he always been capable of such intensity? Gradually, her dumbstruck gape melted into a warm smile.

"I know, Hanataro. I know."

Author's Note: Sorry this one took so long. I've been working on some other material lately, so I rarely have time for "pleasure-writing." Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter (this is actually the hardest fanfic I've done). Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback and I hope you'll continue to do so. 


	5. Epsiode 05: Wallflower Serenade

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

"OH MY GOD, THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!" Matsumoto cackled. The rest of the group erupted in a sea of uncontrollable laughter. It was clear from her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes that she had consumed more than her share of alcohol. Hanataro glanced nervously about him.

'Maybe I shouldn't have come here,' he wondered. It was known fact that Matsumoto loved to party, and, when given the opportunity, would turn anything into a reason to celebrate; this included the rumor that Hanataro and Rukia were an official couple. Being the "friend" she was, Matsumoto called together the usual suspects and decided to throw big "engagement" party in the tenth company barracks. Her captain, of course, declined his invitation.

"Thata boy, Yamada," grinned Sentaro Kotsubaki, slapping him across the back. "Aiming for the girl with the silver spoon, eh?!" He too had drunk his fill, as did Kiyone Kotetsu, fellow officers of the thirteenth company. Though he had only met them once, Hanataro was well aware of their drunken antics; they were practically legendary.

"What's wrong, Kuchiki-chan?!" Kiyone slurred. "Aren't you having fun?!"

"Well I-"

"Here!" The blonde adjutant shoved a jug of rank-smelling liquid at Rukia. "Drink up! Drink up!"

"N-no, thank you…!"

"Aw, come on, Kuchiki-chan! Don't be a party-pooper!"

"Pooper," Sentaro chimed in, "Kuchiki's a pooper! Har har har!" Rukia smiled nervously and leaned away, inadvertently pressing her back into Hanataro. He could feel her warmth, even through his robes, he realized.

"Geez, you guys are loud," Ikkaku muttered. He had already finished a half-dozen small bottles of sake, though the effects were beginning to wear off. "Keep it down over there, would ya?"

"I agree," Yumachika sighed, sipping quietly at his own drink.

"I… I don't think I can take much more, Matsumoto-san," Izuru Kira groaned.

"Nonsense!" she beamed. "Have some more, Kira-kun! Here!"

"I don't feel so good," Shuhei Hisagi croaked. "I think I'm gonna… Urp!"

"Crap, he's gonna blow!"

"Wha-?!"

"Get out of the way!"

"Ew, that's disgusting!"

"Look at this mess…!"

The party went on and on until, at last, the participants who were still conscious, said their goodbyes and returned to their respective companies, save Rukia and Hanataro. Both had been given the following day off, something that rarely happened, so neither saw reason to go directly home. As they walked along the cobblestone streets, he thought back on a conversation he'd had earlier that night.

(Flashback)

_"So, have you kissed her yet?" Sentaro asked, sneering suggestively at the boy._

_"N-no! I-!"_

_"No?! What do you mean 'no?!' What are you stupid?!"_

_"Well, I-!"_

_"That's what you're supposed to do, dammit! You have a girlfriend; you kiss her! Get it?!"_

_"But, Rukia-san and I-!"_

_"You can't be shy about these types of things! Just go for it! If you see what you want, reach out and take it! It's that simple!"_

(End Flashback)

Hanataro did his best to avoid suspicions as he stole glances at the woman beside him. She looked even more radiant in the moonlight. The way the silvery light played on her fair skin was nothing short of… magical. Gradually, his gaze fell to Rukia's side, where her hand rested. The gears in his head immediately went into overtime.

'I can do it,' he told himself. 'I can do it! Just go for it! Just go for it!' Beads of sweat were already forming at his temples. "R-Rukia-san," he said, barely over a whisper. They stopped on the sidewalk and exchanged stares. "W-what are we…?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You and I… Are we… just friends…?" Rukia froze, unsure of what to do. On one hand, she wanted to say "no" and save herself the embarrassment of stepping too far out of bounds, yet, on the other hand, another part of her want to say yes and ardently hoped he would return the sentiment. What should she say?"

"I-I'm not sure," she murmured at last. "Maybe…?"

"Oh… I see." He paused. "I-I hope I'm not being t-too forward, and if I am, please tell me…! But… Umm…"

"Yes?"

"D-do you think, I could… hold your… hand?" Rukia's cheeks flushed red at the idea. Why was her heart suddenly beating so fast?

"I-I suppose," she replied. Slowly, carefully, Hanataro reached down and took Rukia's hand in his own. The warmth and tenderness of her touch pulsated through every inch of him. His heart was pounding. His ears were buzzing. The hair on the back of his neck rose in a standing ovation.

'I'm holding Rukia-san's hand!' He almost couldn't believe it. On the other end, Rukia pondered her current situation. While she'd never fully understood the point of hand-holding, after her time in the living world, she had come to recognize it as a display of affection. That said, what did this mean for her? By holding her hand, did this prove that Hanataro thought of her as more than a friend? And by accepting his hand, was she, herself, reinforcing the notion? But, regardless of whatever impressions and implications circled this seemingly innocent act, Rukia was content. For her, this felt right.

XXX

Renji stepped into his superior's study and gently closed the door behind him. He hated being here. He always had. It wasn't that he disliked Captain Kuchiki; most of the animosity he'd felt toward him dissipated with the end of the ryoka conflict. By no means were they close, but with time, a healthy professional relationship could be reached.

Captain Kuchiki stood silently beside a redwood end table. His cool, keen eyes stared unblinkingly back at his adjutant. His placid face didn't move at all. It was as though he were staring straight through Renji to the motionless wall behind him.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Renji asked, clearing his throat.

"Yes, I did," he replied stoically. "Tell me, Renji… What is the nature of your relationship with Rukia?" A blast of cold ripped through Renji's veins and froze him to the core. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe.

"R-relationship…?" he echoed nervously. "I'm not sure I understand, Captain…"

"You and Rukia grew up together in the Rukon district, did you not?"

"Well…! Yes, sir…"

"Does it not then seem plausible that after knowing each other for so long, feelings beyond mere companionship developed between the two of you?"

Renji paused. Something didn't seem right. The captain rarely talked to him at all,at let alone inquiring about his personal affair. Since when did he care about the private lives his assistant-captain of his sister? It was, in every sense, an uncharacteristically imposing question, especially for Byakuya Kuchiki.

"I am waiting," the captain stated.

"My relationship with Rukia Kuchiki is purely professional," Renji said at last. Captain Kuchiki narrowed his eyes in a pointed stare.

"Lies are wasted here, Renji." Renji's gaze shifted to the flood between his feet. What had given him away? The dampness of his palms? The hesitation in his voice?

"If you wish your relationship with Rukia to remain a secret, state it as such, but do not insult me with falsehoods."

"I apologize, Captain…" Captain Kuchiki turned his eyes to the end table beside him.

"You have been nominated for a covert mission to the living world."

"M-mission, sir?"

"You, along with four other shinigami will be led to the living world by Captain Ten: Toshiro Hitsugaya. Your objective is to detect and prevent the passage of menos into the human world while gathering information for the coming battle against defected captain Sousuke Aizen's hollow forces."

'Reconnaissance…?!

"Among your teammates are assistant-captain Matsumoto of tenth company, third and fifth-seat adjutants Madarame and Yumachika of the eleventh company, and Rukia Kuchiki of the thirteenth company."

'Rukia?!'

"Due to the importance of this mission, I have been ordered to gauge the emotional stability of any and all nominees from sixth company. I will only ask you this once, Renji: will your relationship with Rukia Kuchiki endanger the success of this mission?"

"No, sir."

"I see," Captain Byakuya replied. "You are dismissed."

XXX

"You're improving rapidly, Kuchiki," Ukitake announced with a smile. Rukia sheathed her zanpaku-to and mopped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand.

"Thank you, sir."

"If you don't mind me saying, you seem a little cheerier these days… Any particular reason?" Rukia glanced off to the side in a feeble attempt to hide her blushing face.

"N-no, not really."

"I see," Ukitake chuckled. "Well, I won't pry any further. Keep up the good work, Kuchiki."

"Thank you, sir."

"And whatever the reason is, I'm glad to see you finally enjoying yourself." Once the captain was out of sight, Rukia let out a quiet sigh of relief. She felt a twinge of foolishness, having told such an unnecessary fib. In truth, she did feel happier in recent days, and obviously, it showed. She was now working harder and more enthusiastically than ever before. At times, she had to focus every bit of her self-control to suppress her own glee. Every morning became a new beginning and every night marked the closing of a new memory. People no longer referred to her as "the little princess" or "that noble-girl." She had a name, an identity, and a place. It was a warm, tender feeling.

Oddly, she hadn't heard from Renji in some time, not that it particularly bothered her. After all, he was a high-ranking officer and more than likely had a great deal to do. When he had the time, he would come see her. In the meantime, she was perfectly content spending her spare time with Hanataro.

The functions of their relationship were still clumsy and inexperienced, but between the fumbles of words and awkward displays of affection, there was comfort. Sometimes, they would sit for hours, talking. Actually, she did most of the talking. She told and retold stories of her adventures in the living world, as well as her exploits in Rukongai; both were places Hanataro had yet to experience, but he enjoyed her renditions, nonetheless. Perhaps she found this naivety appealing. He knew so little, but possessed the desire to learn more, a trait Ichigo shared no traces of. It was refreshing.

A dull thump to the back pitched Rukia forward, eliciting a yelp of surprise. Rubbing the small of her back with one hand, Rukia turned to glare at her assailant.

"R-Renji…?"

"Yo," he nodded, gruffly.

"What are you doing here? And why did you kick me?!" Renji glanced from side to side, then leaned down narrowed his gaze on the raven-haired girl.

"We need to talk."

XXX

I… I may not be able to see you for some time…" Toshiro Hitsugaya sat quietly in the darkened hospital room. His frosty blue eyes lay fixedly on Hinamori's sleeping form. Though she would never admit it, Captain Unohana empathized with the young captain and suspended the normal visitation limits. He was truly thankful, for that.

"I'll be leaving soon," Hitsugaya murmured from behind his clasped hands. "For the living world…" The mechanical hiss of the respirator was her only reply. So many tubes and needles… Her face had become pale and lifeless, drained of the pink energy that had once filled her. It pained him to see her this way.

"Renji will be coming with me… Matsumoto, too, but I'm sure Kira will still visit… You won't be alone…" He paused. Little by little, he could feel thank sinking feeling rising up in his gut. It twisted his intestines into knots and yanked at his heart, but as hard as he tried, he couldn't place the source. Was it… guilt?

"I have to go," he announced. Slowly, he rose from the chair and made his way to her bedside. Even in the dark, he could plainly make out the dry salt trails that marked her cheeks. He wondered how many nights she had cried in her sleep. "When this war is over, I'll be back, I promise… Until then, take care, Hinamori."

**Author's Note:** I wanted this chapter to be a little cheerier than the last one. I hope you liked it, and as always, reviews are more than welcome.


	6. Epsiode 06: Gangsters of Love

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach…

"Why the hell are you in such a good mood?" Ikkaku snorted haughtily. Renji's smile melted into a defensive frown.

"What, I can't be happy?" he muttered.

"Whatever." It was true; Renji had been unusually cheerful, today. After finishing a rigorous training session, the two had gone to the dining hall where they met up with the rest of the seated officers for an early lunch. Renji, normally one of the quieter members of the group, talked nonstop, inserting his two cents into every conversation. "Anyway, so I hear Kuchiki is going to the living world with us."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, are you gonna be okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be," Renji replied, defensively. "Just what are you trying to say?!"

"Nothing," Ikkaku shrugged. "So… This mission… Think we'll see much action?"

"I dunno… Hope not." Now, it was Ikkaku's turn to frown.

"What the hell?" he sighed. "Ever since you got promoted, you've been getting softer and softer. What's wrong; leave your balls back with eleventh company?"

"Watch it!" Renji snapped. "Just 'cause I'm not bloodthirsty like you…!"

"Who says I'm bloodthirsty? You make me sound like some kinda sicko…! There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good fight."

"A fight's a fight," Renji explained, and if I have to fight, I'll do it. But don't expect me to go lookin' to get all cut up just for the sake of bloodlust. I'm not like you."

"All that power and you're still talkin' like that…? You'd better not let the captain hear you saying that kinda stuff or you might lose a lung."

"He's not MY captain, anymore," Renji stated.

"Yeah, yeah, captain six… That reminds me; whatever happened to that goal of yours? You still planning to challenge him?" Renji lips tightened in a grim line. He hadn't really decided what to do about that. Ever since the incident with Ichigo and the others, his vendetta with his superior had taken a backseat to everything else. He hadn't even had time to consider a resolution.

"I dunno," he replied slowly.

XXX

"A going-away party?" Hanataro murmured, staring at the invitation.

"That's right," Matsumoto replied. "Didn't you hear? Myself, along with a few other shinigami are being dispatched to the living world three days from now. I was sure you'd come since Kuchiki is one of the…" Matsumoto stopped when she saw the color drain from the young medic's cheeks. "You mean… you didn't know?"

Hanataro stared vacantly at the piece of paper, lost in his own thoughts. Rukia was being dispatched? He hadn't heard about any missions to the living world. And why hadn't she told him?

"Hey, kid? Kid, are you okay?" Hanataro emerged from his stupor with a start to find his senior staring down at him with a concerned look on her face.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," he smiled. "Excuse me, Matsumoto-san, but I think I've forgotten something." With that, he handed the flyer back to the vice-captain and hurried away.

XXX

Rukia sat at the edge of the castle's massive porch, staring wistfully out at the rolling hills. The Kuchiki estate was impressive, to say the least, stretching for miles and miles. The scenic beauty of the land was one of the few things Rukia liked about living there, though she rarely had time to enjoy the view.

'A mission to living world…' The mere thought invited a bitter taste into the back of her throat. While she knew it was her duty, Rukia could help but feel a twinge of inexplicable remorse tugging at her chest. She had only just been reinstated as a shinigami and already she was being dispatched. When she had first received the news, she wasn't sure how to feel. What had she done to deserve a place in such a vital mission? Of the six shinigami that had been drafted for the project, she was the only one who sat below the rank of "seated officer." Her brother took it upon himself to explain that she was enlisted, not because of her powers as a shinigami, but because of her ties of influence with Ichigo. Her brother had the strangest talent for making her feel even less valuable than she already did.

'And I still haven't told him, yet…' Oddly, that had been one of her first concerns. How would he take the news? After spending so much time together, they had grown considerably fond of one another; would he be able to adjust so quickly? Images of his pained smile flashed in her head. She could see those sullen eyes staring out at her over that false grin, the one that hid his true emotions. When he stared at her that way, she could bare to look him in the eyes.

"I'm such a coward…"

XXX

"Thank you, gentlemen, for gathering on such short notice," the commander greeted the assembly of captains. Every available captain was present, even Captain Ukitake. Because of the massive overhauled in the Serietei, these meetings had become less and less frequent since the Aizen incident. Everyone had there own tasks to perform which kept most of the officers busy from morning until night.

"The reason I have called you all here is to discuss the impending menos threat." Yamamoto glanced to his right and nodded at the proud captain of the second company. "Captain Soi Fong…?" The black-haired Special-Ops commander stepped silently forward. "While in the living world, you encountered an advanced form of the menos, did you not?"

"Yes, sir."

"Please share your observations with your brothers-in-arms."

"Yes, sir… During my stay on Earth, I crossed swords with an arrancar from Hueco Mundo. While he was a considerably unrefined specimen, this hollow, who identified himself as "Joker," wielded a substantial amount of strength. His powers clearly rivaled those of a captain-class shinigami. From his rash judgment and lack of proficiency, I deduced that he was not an aged hollow who had undergone a natural transformation, but a byproduct of artificial enhancement. It became clear to me that his growth had been assisted with the help of a catalyst…"

"The Hougyoku?"

"Yes."

"So, it would be safe to assume that this hollow was under the employment of Sousuke Aizen?"

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you, Captain Soi Fong." Yamamoto leaned forward in his seat, clutching the top of his gnarled cane. "Gentlemen, I cannot stress the importance of the upcoming battle against the forces in Hueco Mundo. It is imperative that we draw upon all our sources, meaning that your current work-loads will be increased to compensate for the three defected captains. We must do everything we can to prepare. You are dismissed…!"

XXX

'I can't believe I'm doing this,' Hanataro chastised himself. His eyes stared cautiously at the decorative gates that stood before the Kuchiki mansion. What had he been thinking, coming here, especially uninvited? He must have been crazy. Slowly, he lifted his right foot and took one step forward. Then another. Another. Little by little, he began to make his way down the stone walkway, glancing from side to side with every step. Was it just his imagination, or did everything seem twice as big as it had been the last time he was there?

'What should I do now? Should I ring the doorbell? Should I knock? Maybe I should just stand outside until someone sees me and-?'

Suddenly, an overwhelming chill wracked the young shinigami's body from head to toe. Every pore in his body opened up; every hair rose to attention. Time, gravity, light… Everything around him rippled with distortion. He was alive, but at the same time, he felt he was about to die. It was a familiar feeling. Fearfully, Hanataro glance back over his shoulder.

"C-C-C-Captain Ku-Kuchiki…!" he stammered. Sweat beaded down his neck, soaking every fold in his baggy, black robes. Those eyes, those sharp, icy eyes that stared out at him so complacently. He felt naked, ashamed and condemned all at once. Hanataro's gaze drifted to the zanpaku-to hilt that poked out from beneath the flowing white captain's cloak. 'Senbonzakura,' he recalled. How could anyone forget such a sword? It had only been a few months since he himself stood at the business end of that blade. To think Ichigo could defeat such a man…

Hanataro's lips parted to utter a greeting, but before he could form the words, the captain stepped past him in a blur of billowing fabric and continued down the path to the mansion's entrance.

"Hanataro…?" The gentle voice pulled Hanataro from his terror-induced stupor and back into the real world.

"R-Rukia-san!" he exclaimed. "I was just looking for you… I… I need to speak with you."

"I see," she said, barely over a whisper. Hanataro thought he saw a hint of sadness reflecting in those big, blue eyes, but she stepped past him before he could get a better look. "We can talk inside."

XXX

Hanataro wasn't exactly sure what he expected Rukia's room to look like, but this was definitely not it. He had always imagined a girl's room to be decorative and person, far from the bland walls the surrounded the polished, hardwood floor. Aside from a small futon, a nightstand and a table, the room was practically empty. There were no personal touches to be found. It was then that Hanataro spotted a small vase filled with a bouquet of withered lilies. He quickly recognized them to be his own. To think she had kept them for so long…

"You said you need to talk?" Rukia asked, kneeling on the far side of the table. Hanataro nodded and took his seat across from her.

"Y-yes…" He paused. "I… I heard something today…" His eyes slipped to the reflective tabletop, staring into the translucent girl's image. "Are you… leaving, Rukia-san?" Her reflection's face lit up with surprise, then melded to a sullen grimace. That was all the answer he needed. Oh… I see."

"I wanted to tell you," she murmured, "but I just-…"

"I understand," he nodded. His mouth turned up in a weak smile, but Rukia found a trace of reassurance in his eyes. "I'm sure you had your own reasons…" Rukia chewed nervously at her lip. Was he trying to make this difficult or easy?

Silence.

"H-how long will you be gone?" he asked finally.

"I don't know." Again, silence.

"Well, maybe it won't be so bad… I'm sure that-…!" Rukia's pained expression stopped his words short. What should he say? What could he say? There was very little that could be done at this point and he knew that just as well as she did.

"Well," he began, "we could at least, enjoy the time we have left, couldn't we…?"

"I think it would be better if we didn't…"

"W-Wha-?!"

"There is no way is no way of knowing how long I will be away, or if I'll even return at all… I'd rather leave without any loose ends…"

"B-but Rukia-san…!"

'No,' she reminded herself. 'This is what you've decided. You must stay strong! You must be steadfast!' Craning her neck around, she glanced wistfully off to the side. She couldn't look him in the eyes, not now. "I'm… I'm just not good with goodbyes… This is for the best." She paused and waited; waited for a sigh, a sniffle, a sob… But there was only silence. Slowly, she turned back to face him, only to find herself alone in her room. He had vanished into thin air. Rukia bit firmly into her lip and placed a hand over her heart. "I'm… so sorry…"

XXX

The afternoon sun gradually sank into the west, coaxing the stars out into the darkening sky. By early evening, the Serietei was roaring with activity. The once quiet streets were filled with the sounds of laughter and excitement over the loud, jovial music filled the temperate night air. The towering street lamps were draped in festive streamers and with decorations that hung from ever building-side.

Everyone was out, tonight; captains and students, alike. Every soul in the Serietei had come out to wish the earth-bound officers a safe journey, though not without helping themselves to various food, drinks and festivities that lined the streets. Venders of all kind sold their wares; everything from fresh dumplings to colorful pinwheels. Yet, despite the light-hearted atmosphere, one soul sat sullenly in the shadows of a dinky drink stand.

"Dumped, huh?" Sentaro muttered, passing a bottle of sake to his companion. Hanataro took the bottle in both ands and tipped it back against his lips. The cool, harsh liquid felt rough on the back of his throat, but he was quickly getting use to it. It had only been a little more than a day since he had spoken to Rukia, but the pain was already unbearable. He felt sick, as if something were boiling in the pit of his stomach. The dull ache of his heart weighed heavily down inside of him. It hurt to talk. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to be.

"Well, don't worry about it," Sentaro shrugged. "I'm sure it'll work out, somehow." Hanataro took another swig and glanced sullenly up at his senior. 'Maybe it was a mistake to convince him to drink with me this soon afterward,' Sentaro wondered behind his grimace. 'It's only been a day and the kid looks terrible…' 'Who knew he was so attached to Kuchiki-chan?'

"It hurts… It really hurts," Hanataro croaked out at last.

"I know," Sentaro sighed, "I know."

"I just don't understand… Did I do something wrong…?" It was clear from the shakiness of his voice that the boy was on the verge of tears. He looks absolutely miserable.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong… Kuchiki-chan's just… complicated."

"Complicated…?"

"More than you know… She's got this really bad habit of over-stacking her loads, and when she does, she won't let's anyone get too close and she never, ever asks for help. Even when her back is up against the wall, she refuses to let anyone get near her… That's the way she's always been…"

"And what the hell is this?" The pair turned in their barstools to see Renji Abarai looming over them. His face wrinkled with its usual scowl, though he appeared to have gone to great lengths to dress for the occasion. His black shinigami robes had been replaced with a festive floral print and a matching headband.

"Let it alone, Renji," Sentaro sighed. "Can't you see the kid's miserable?"

"Miserable?" Renji snorted. "What's he got to be miserable about?"

"Didn't you hear? Kuchiki-chan split on him."

"That's all?! Get over yourself!" Hanataro twitched beneath the assistant-captain's scrutiny but found himself unable to speak. "It's the biggest night of the year and here you are, drunk, looking like a whipped pup…! Get off your ass and find Rukia, already!"

"Find… Rukia-san…?" Hanataro mouthed the words clumsily through his alcoholic haze. "But she said-!"

"And you were stupid enough to listen?! You really are a dumbass, you know that?! The fact that she's trying to push you away is proof that she cares about you! Don't you get that by now?! Geez! And to think I actually thought you could handle here!"

"I-I don't understand…?"

"Don't understand…?! Weren't you all about protecting her; staying by her side no matter what?! Or was that a lie?!"

"N-no!" Hanataro snapped. "I meant what I said…!" Renji was beginning to frustrate him.

"That's now what it looks like to me… All I see is a washed-up kid-loser who copped out before he even started! Yeah, you talk a good game, but when it comes right down to it, you're about as reliable as rusty blade!"

"That's not true!"

"Oh yeah?! Prove it!"

"I…! I-I will…!" With that, Hanataro slid out of his seat and stumbled out into the milling crowd. Sentaro watched him leave in amazement before turning his eyes back to the scowling lieutenant. As he examined the surly red-head's posture, a sly grin crossed his flushed cheeks.

"Well, well, Renji Abarai! I didn't know you had it in ya!"

"Shut yer yap, Kotsubaki!" he snarled. "I don't want to hear it from you!"

"Sure, sure," he chuckled, "but I've gotta know: why…? Weren't you after Kuchiki-chan, too?"

"I may be stubborn, but I know when I'm beat. Rukia doesn't want me, and I don't have what it takes to make her happy. But unlike me, that kid has a chance… That's all there is to it…"

"You ol' softy, you!"

"Oh, shut up and pour me a drink, will ya?"

XXX

As he made his way along the busy Sereitei streets, Hanataro could feel his heart thumping in time with the pounding of his feet. The world around him was little more than a blur of light and sound. In and out, he ducked around bustling crowds, his eyes jerking desperately from side to side.

As odd as it seemed, now, he felt a great swell of gratitude toward Renji. The sixth assistant-captain had opened his eyes and heart once again. What had he been doing all this time? Why could he see what was right in front of him? Was everything really that simple? The details of it all were still shaky, but none of that matter right now. All he knew was that he had to find her.

XXX

Rukia leaned over the marble bridge and stared longingly into the water below. She had done the right thing, hadn't she? It seemed absurd to question it now. It was far too late to turn back. But, even-so, why did it hurt so much?

In the distance, she could hear the commencement of the festivities, an affair she couldn't bring herself to join. She didn't feel like celebrating. For now, she needed to be alone, left to her own thoughts. So much had happened so quickly, it almost seemed surreal. She was confused and hurt, maybe even a little afraid. How could anything be so difficult?

'Kaine-dono… I've lost my way again. I don't know what I should do anymore. What is right? What is best for everyone? What is it that I should?'

"RUKIA-SAN!" Rukia lifted her gaze from the water and glanced to either side. "RUKIA-SAN!" It was close, she realized. A feeling of excitement began to well up inside her. She knew who it was without even looking.

"Hana…taro…?"

"RUKIA-SAN!" Suddenly, a pale, slender arm shot out over the side of the bridge and gripped one of the marble columns with a wet SLAP.

"EEEKKK!!!" Rukia squealed. Another arm poked up, followed by a foot, until at last, Hanataro tumbled forward onto the hard ground at Rukia's feet.

"Hanataro!" she cried, kneeling down beside him. His hair and shihakusho were completely soaked; they clung heavily to his heaving chest as he struggled to breathe. "What in the world are you doing here?! And… why are you all… wet?!"

"I f-fell into the stream..." he shivered. As impossible as it sounded, she could easily imagine the entire incident. Rukia was about to chastise him when a cool, wet hand took hold of hers.

"H-Hanataro…?"

"Wait, Rukia-san! Please hear what I have to say! I know you said you didn't want to see me anymore and I should respect your wishes, but… But, I just can't do that! I can't pretend that I don't care about you! You mean so much to me, and…! And, I know that we can work things out… It might not be easy, but please give me a chance, Rukia-san! I want to try!" Hanataro's voice surged with a passion unlike any she'd ever felt. Those big, tear-shaped eyes stared painfully up at her, pleading with her. How could she refuse him, now? "Please… Rukia-san…?"

"It's Rukia," she murmured.

"W-what…?"

"Call me Rukia, not 'Rukia-san.' You should have learned that by now…" A line of tears fell from her eye and trickled down the side of her face. Rukia lifted a hand to her face to obscure her tearful smile. "Oh, no, she chuckled, "now look what you've done…!"

XXX

"What are you grinning about?" Sentaro huffed, carefully eying Hanataro. The seventh seat medic had been smiling all morning, even after dropping a box of supplies on his own toes.

"Nothing," he chuckled.

"Like I'd believe that! Something happened with Kuchiki-chan last night, didn't it?! What happened?! Did she kiss ya?" Hanataro remained silent, but the bright red blush that enveloped his face spoke for itself. "I knew it! You kissed her, ya luck dog! Har har har!!! How was it?! Was she any good?!"

"Kotsubaki-san…!" Hanataro protested.

"SILENCE." The assembly of shinigami immediately fell silent and all eyes looked straight ahead. Commander Yamamoto clasped his hands over the knob of his cane and turned to the departing line of officers. "Today," he began, "you few will embark on a mission that could very well determine the fate of Soul Society as we know it. Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya: tenth company, Assistant Captain Rangiku Matsumoto: tenth company, Assistant Captain Renji Abarai: sixth company, Third seat Ikkaku Madarame: eleventh company, Yamuchika Ayasegawa: eleventh company, and Rukia Kuchiki: thirteenth company… You are some of the best our ranks have to offer. You are the strongest, the brightest, the most skillful. You alone will set the course for the upcoming war…" Yamamoto glanced back over his shoulder toward the Senkai Gate. "Jyuushiro, the Gate."

"Sir!" On his command the Senkai Gate activated, radiating in an azure glow.

"Go forward with pride and confidence. Serve your peers well and when this battle is over, return home safely…!" With that, the group bowed respectively to their commander and made their way to the portal. One by one, they stepped through the blue hazy, each body accompanied by a black hell butterfly. Hanataro watched each one depart, no hesitation, never looking back. In a way, he envied them.

At last, Rukia stepped up the Senkai Gate. All of a sudden, she stopped short, one fair hand held her scabbard against her hip while the other rested limply at her side. What was she thinking, Hanataro wondered? Could she be regretting something? Rukia cast the boy a fleeting glance over her shoulder before disappearing into the pale, blue mist, sealing the portal behind her. Moments passed. Hanataro stared reflectively at the place she stood. Even as he bit down on his quivering lip, the hollow feeling inside of him continued to swell. She was gone. She was actually gone.

"I'll wait for you, Rukia," his voice barely above a whisper. "I promise."

**Author's Note:** Well, that's another chapter down (it's a little bulky). I hope you enjoyed (feel free to review):-D


End file.
